This love-hate relationship.

I do not know how to describe the way I feel when I see bad news painted on all my social media news feeds about my beautiful country PNG.

I gladly admit that I purposely choose not to read the news, nor attempt to meddle with the comment sections of posts because it robs me of my peace.

When I say it is emotionally draining, it is an understatement. I fail to really articulate the thoughts that run through my head. The fear that creeps into my mind. The disgust that fills my soul. The anger that rushes through my body. The sadness that stabs my heart.

A love-hate relationship.

But the compassion I have for my country makes me hopeful. I want to right wrongs. I want to restore peace. I want to change the conversation. I want to instill hope into both young and old. I want to build people up, and not tear them down. I want to teach, but I want to learn in return. I want to talk about solutions, and not paraphrase the same issues. I want answers, and not a question as an answer.

Like my supervisor reminded me today, “Milcah, you can’t fix everything that is wrong about PNG. Focus on your sphere of the things you can control, and you will be able to influence a greater sphere outside of yourself”.

So everyday I hope to start small. I hope to capitalise on the areas of my life that I can control to influence a tiny change. My words and actions must have a purpose. This degree will serve a purpose that is greater than myself.

Love,

Milcah

 

 

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Untitled

rialouvegas

And if Heaven closed her doors on me
Would I be real, Would I be free?
If heaven hung her head in shame
And chose me as the one to blame

Would earth take me back again
And accept me solely as a man
Or would it spit me out like rain
Peltering fiercely with disdain

Bury me ten feet underground
Until the bells of Hell do sound
And if Hell throws me overboard
What more hope could I afford

I know not when the trumpets play
I know not how my soul betrays
My spirit that doth whither soon
Under the gaze of a blood red moon

But still I am I exist
With the breeze and the mist
Feeling bittersweet and numb
Not knowing what I have become

Signed, Ria-Lou Vegas.

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Time to start

Milcah

So I’ve decided to spend at least some time of my day writing. About what? I myself do not have the slightest clue. But as it unfolds before me, I guess I’ll figure it out. My bucket list is almost filled to the brim, but nothing is being crossed off. Hence, this is me crossing it off. By starting with this blog. I’m not much of a writer, as I find it hard to consistently maintain a certain stream of thought, but I like to watch my mind “become” before me. This is bound to be my platform of self-discovery and also some kind of inspiration for my ambitious mind.

First things first. I’m writing for myself, more than I am for an audience. I’m not philosophical, nor am I some kind of “knower”. But, the little that I do know, I’m willing to show. I think people have forgotten how to…

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